Dear Ann Landers: My husband, I'll call him Jerry, loves to dance. He's a good dancer, I'll give him that, and I am just fair, but his behavior on the dance floor is just terrible. He has been humiliating me for 16 years.
The minute the music starts, Jerry drags me onto the floor.Never mind if I am in a conversation with the person next to me, he pulls me out of my chair and says, ``C'mon, let's dance.' Within two minutes his eyes are scanning the premises, looking for a good dancer. The minute he spots one, he grabs her and pushes me into the arms of her partner. I keep hoping some guy will punch him out, but it has never happened.
Meanwhile, I end up with some victim who is two heads shorter than I am, is half smashed and has no interest in dancing with me.
I don't mind if Jerry wants to dance with another woman, but I wish he would ask her before the music starts and let me visit or watch. Am I a ``lousy sport' as he claims? Please let me hear from you. - Toledo
Dear Toledo: Tell Jerry the next time he does it, you will sit down and leave the intruded-on male without a partner. Then do it.\
Dear Ann Landers: I am writing to you in the hope of helping thousands of people who think they are going crazy, feel frightened and helpless, and don't know what is wrong. I was once one of them. The symptoms and severity vary, but the pain for all victims is horrible.
I am referring to Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder or OCD. Here are the symptoms:
Repeated hand washing because they don't feel clean.
Checking sometimes 10 or 20 times to make sure something is closed, filled, disconnected or left the ``correct' way.
Fearing that you might harm or kill someone when you are carrying a sharp object.
Feeling terrified that you have hit someone on the road or done something wrong and waiting to be apprehended.
Constantly worrying that you have cancer, AIDS or other devastating diseases.
The worst part of OCD is that most people who have it function quite normally, hiding the obsessions and compulsions from friends and family while suffering their own private hell.
Please, Ann, print my letter. Sometimes knowing there are others who share your problem reduces the feelings of helplessness and encourages you to get help. - Long Island
Dear Long Island: Thank you for a letter that is sure to make a great many OCD sufferers feel less alone.
For more information, you can contact the Obsessive Compulsive Foundation, a national support group, at P.O. Box 9573, New Haven, Conn. 06535.