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According to CPAC, "It’s time to stand up for Americans whose views have gotten them canceled," which is why they kicked things off by canceling an appearance from one of their panelists for a history of making anti-Semitic claims. Good — conservatives don’t want to be associated with anyone like that. It could sully the good name of the mob with aluminum bats trying to murder Mike Pence.

— Stephen Colbert

CPAC apparently hadn’t known about Young Pharaoh’s history of anti-Semitism, and called his views "reprehensible," saying they have "no home" with their conference. Yes, conservatives would never doubt the existence of Jewish people. Otherwise, who’s operating the space laser?

— Stephen Colbert

I didn’t know America was canceled. Although, I’m not surprised — the last season was pretty unbelievable.

— Stephen Colbert

Today in Washington, President Biden met virtually with Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau for the first time since taking office. ... Trudeau was like, "On behalf of Canada, thank you for your friendship, for your support and for taking Ted Cruz.”

— Jimmy Fallon

Trudeau and Biden had a typical video chat between a 49-year-old and a 78-year-old. Trudeau spent the first 20 minutes trying to tell Biden he was on mute.

— Jimmy Fallon

You just know they spent the entire time trash-talking Trump and then were like, "Yeah, uh, we talked about COVID and stuff.”

— James Corden

This was the president’s first virtual bilateral meeting, which sounds sexy, but it wasn’t. Next week he’s planning a TikTok with Angela Merkel, so that’ll be fun.

— Jimmy Kimmel

(The U.S. Postal Service) asked the designers (of its new trucks) to come up with something that looks unremarkable and yet vaguely unsettling. And I think they succeeded.

— Jimmy Kimmel

They’ve already spent $482 million on testing and designing it. Wasn’t the post office bankrupt like four months ago? Now they’re buying new cars? It’s like a bad brother-in-law or something.

— Jimmy Kimmel

But of course there’s a controversy. Many of the new trucks will be electric, but not all of them, and "the precise mix has already elicited criticism from environmentalists." I understand their concern — I mean, you want the greenest vehicle possible when you’re delivering thousands of pounds of Amazon Rainforest that are now Amazon boxes.

— Stephen Colbert

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